Ayokong makakita ng masaya, maganda at nakakatuwa, baka makalimutan ko na suicidal na emo ako

SPEND MORE ON TICKETS NOT ON SHOES & EXPLORE ISLANDS NOT MALLS

marshmallow effect.

EQ takes over where IQ takes off. 

lately my work mates are resigning for better opportunities. to start with i don't see anything seriously wrong with THE FIRM. somehow people just don't see the long term benefit of staying. 

so why do i feel sad? that's because they were already given the opportunity to control their future but they let it pass because of bigger paycheck.

as a stockbroker we are exposed to the market. and exposure is an advantage. that's on top of the discounted commission that we have per trade.

they could have taken control of their financial future by trading. right now i am start to trade and its a challenge but you just have to do it. assume risk. hope that you have the right timing.

compounding interest. if all goes well, i'll be set for life in 3-5 years.

its all about numbers, getting acquainted with the charts. analysis. this is where your IQ comes in.

waiting, setting expectations, assumption that everything will vanish, these are all part of risk taking. cost benefit analysis. that's EQ for you.

its good thing that i have experienced not getting what i want. even after repeated attempts. my childhood is a good training ground for stockbrokers.

so here, my dreams of taking on the world culminates. i just have to be patient and accept that the market is beyond my control. i'll stay. i won't quit, not until i have the hundred thousand dollars on my portfolio :-)

never underestimate the power of compounding interest. so whatever that i do today will have a multiplier effect on how the coming days will turn out.

IQ will make you see the risk, the opportunity, EQ will tell you to stay or to jump. 

For us BPO and MNC folks, intelligence can only take us so far, but without the patience to endure the tediousness of waiting, we would only be hopping from one job to the next.

financial state of mind

i can't sleep. i just found out that my google AdSense just got approved. I take it as the last piece to fall on my financial puzzle.
two days ago, I made a profit on my US brokerage account. its kind of encouraging, somehow im starting to get a clearer picture on how the next 5 years will look like. finally. 7 years ago, when i started in the call center industry i already know what i don't want. but i don't know what i wanted. i only have vague ideas.
so after long years of getting cussed, getting drunk, resigning and applying for jobs that doesn't seem to work, i finally found the most unlikely job - as a stockbroker where i see myself doing for 10 years.
if you have been my seatmate in Math class you'll know why. probably i'm one of the most hapless guy in our high school batch to graduate when it comes to numbers.
so its quite a surprise that i passed the two exams, knowing my mathematical deficiencies and my lackadaisical study habits. i was forced to wake up an hour before my scheduled waking time just to study. 
all efforts are rewarded. 
so fast forward to 1 year from the exam, here i am doing what i do best - slack off.  i really think that i should push myself more but somehow that resolve gets broken whenever i encounter a roadblock. its easy to be passive. the mind takes the path of the least resistance. i really would like to excel in something. not just to get by.
its weird coz i know that i have the staying power, that i can hold on to a job that i don't care about for say 3 years, but i can't seem too sustain the drive to excel. come to think of it i always settle for a third, sometimes i wonder what makes competitive folks tick. why don't i have the same passion? could it be because i question authorities too much? maybe.
but hey, i love this job. who wouldn't? the pay is good, the management is fine, and the title/job description is as good as it gets. i also have a personal stake to master what i do. come on, i have a trading account so i really have to double time if i want  to have everything that i want within my time frame.
a nice house with kumag.  backpack in Europe and Asia (i'll take on Africa and  America once i'm done with these two). learn a foreign language. take pictures. write some. and mentor my nephews and nieces.
sounds like a plan, right?
i know that the first two sounds like asking to much, you can't have a nice house while at the same time wandering around the world, coz dude that cost alot of money. i just have to make it happen. so here's hoping that all my lazy and risky ventures will come into fruition. oh please Lord of Stocks, i know money doesn't grow on trees but please, please let my opening and closing of position be at the right time.
stock trading is crazy, you just have to know a little, ride the wave and take it from there. you learn by becoming wet. so its taking risks, but you don't get the rewards without giving something in return. which means that i have to study technical analysis. and stick to this job.
yes, lately my workmates are leaving for better offers, but for me its just a short term benefit. because if i can earn profits from my trading account then that will be more than enough to cover or offset whatever pay raise that i can get supposing that i move out. so methinks that i'll stay here for another 3 or 5 years. compounding benefits. compounding interest. like with my trading capital, i am positive that everything will flourish.

what my 21 year old self should know.

life happens. and dreams can be postponed, indefinitely.  you don't give up just because you thought it's your time and it didn't panned out like it should have.


you will leave your hometown once you turn 21. you will meet a lot of people. you will be fortunate as most of them will be your friends. you won't be happy with work. you will feel that taking calls is beneath you. i mean come on, a three paged resume should get you somewhere right? posting that resume in Jobstreet.com.ph will only get you calls from call centers. you will not be a researcher, a writer or a lawyer.


you will think that you must quit. this job. this life. of failed dreams and endless calls. 


yet artificial lights and coffee will keep you going. insomnia will no longer be cool.Post college grunge, call center dissatisfied,  you will be emo, way before it became pedestrian. and this will do things to your head.  nasty dark thoughts will plague you. and you won't sleep, rather you can't sleep. you will only take power naps. when you clock in at 12mn est, you will wish that its already 9am est. and when finally its log out time you will head to the mall. you will spend long hours in powerbooks, because you think that your job is killing your brain cells due to disuse. and this will make your insomnia worse.


you have always been curious. you will do what your precocious mind conceived since you've hit puberty. you will meet up with guys. waking hours will be spent texting. or sexting. sex will happen. pre-shift, post shift. rest days. even if you are with friends, you will come up with an excuse to go to that guy who gave you the booty call.


 you will have sex with the same sex.


its gonna be fun. and depressing. because it is. you will not be happy because life in the closet is sad. though high fives with your straight guy friends are fun, you will feel that being gay is sad because you are the odd man out.you will continue to pretend. afraid that your friends will leave you. some of your family members  will make a big deal out it.and you will opt out of it. it will be blocked, filtered. who needs reality when you don't even live in the same timezone with the people that you think should understand? you will have your candy. toys that will say i  love you too. the same toy will not text you back after two  weeks. you will feel sad. good thing you have that gay confidante, the only person whom you think knows about "you". you will go thru denial, bargaining and all that seven steps of grief. you will not skip a phase. your honeymoon starts with a new boy. and eventually it will end. just like before.


then you will meet the boy that you will take for long walks. at first he will protest. he doesn't like the exposure to the sun. he will make excuses. but you will persist. you'll have your first date in a cemetery. you will pick aratilis together. and only him will eat it. because it made you sick when you were little. by far this will be your longest and sweetest serving of honey and the moon. you will think that living after the age of 40 is possible. he will be the reason to get out of that closet. when that happens you will realize that people are now more accepting. you will not alienate your friends. its liberating, no matter the cliche.


you will get your first taste of getting axed from your job. corporate shit and corporate clients are demanding. and its your head on the block this time. last paycheck and separation pay will be enclosed in an envelope. same envelope will be taken by your gay and super campy housemate. as you are not confrontational you will not confront him. you will follow the suggestion of your landlord, go to the local manghuhula. you will pay him a hundred and nothing will happen. the alleged thief will continue to be entertaining. you just don't have the balls or the heart to tell him off. 


you will continue switching jobs. all of it are on night shift. all of it will leave you dissatisfied. so you become a mediocre employee. an effortless employee at that. you make a work related blunder. you will be turned in by a friend to HR, no confrontation just on the spot resignation.


you'll have your training for three months at the suckiest call center by the bay. you will leave after four months. it has everything that you don't like. you will be on a crux. now what? its teenage angst plus quarterly life crisis on overdrive. don't throw yourself on the 9th floor just yet. Fate will intercede.


you will get that Wall Street job. you will face death prematurely. you will be stretched, because you have always been effortless, this will throw you off track. but you will pass the two exams. Gordon Gecko is the new LMM. 


uptick. downtick. margin call. risk. its a trade.


politics will only be viewed as a catalyst. here's hoping that something will happen. market is down! buy low! Buy Now. so Gloria on neck braces happened. Impeachment is still happening. PNoy the Abnoy  will continue to happen. and so the uptick that you are waiting for is still waiting to happen.


you will be earning more than the amount in order to silence your complaints. so life will be sweeter. work will no longer be stressful. money makes the world go round. yeah lots of it.


you will look back. the stress finally paid off. book of complaints, its full and its time to discard it. had you been a quitter, you wouldn't have gotten this far. you would have always bailed out. you will thank your parents, for raising you the way that they did. you will see the silver lining. in fact you will be nicer to everyone. 


everybody loves a winner. you will unconsciously tap into your sleeping arrogance. you won't argue anymore. because in your head, its done. its resolve. you will probably be the biggest asshole that there is. passive aggressive. either way, you're getting it. you will think that patience is for those who doesn't have a choice. 


your dreams will slowly slide into reality.


risk. benefit. rewards. consequences. its a trade.


change? you change. you make the system work for you. opportunity abounds in chaos. 


now, would you still want to grow up?